Everything you need to play ethically, safely, and like a grown adult.
This page exists so that all UBDSM members have easy access to our core documents at all times.
If you’ve misplaced a form, forgotten a rule, or want to refresh your knowledge before a scene, start here.
Reading these documents is not optional.
Using them properly is how we keep UBDSM safe, ethical, and drama-free.
Consent and Negotiation Starter Sheet
This is where scenes begin. Not on the furniture.
The UBDSM Consent and Negotiation Sheet is designed to start real conversations, not replace them.
It helps play partners clearly communicate
• Roles for the scene (Top, Bottom, Switch)
• What activities are wanted, maybe, or not happening
• Definitions of intensity (because “heavy” means different things to different people)
• Safewords and stop systems
• Physical, emotional, and medical considerations
• Triggers, injuries, STI status, and boundaries
• What each person wants to feel during the scene
• Aftercare needs and expectations
Key principles from this sheet
• You must talk. The form is not the conversation
• You do not renegotiate or add activities mid-scene
• Consent can be withdrawn at any time before or during a scene
• Consent cannot be withdrawn after the fact. That is regret
👉 Download the UBDSM Consent and Negotiation Starter Sheet (PDF)
UBDSM Rules and Code of Conduct
These are the guardrails. Stay inside them.
The UBDSM Rules and Code of Conduct apply to
• All UBDSM events
• All UBDSM WhatsApp groups
• The UBDSM website
• All members, guests, staff, DMs, and organisers
They cover, in detail
• Consent standards and frameworks (EICK, RACK, SSC, PRICK)
• Behaviour expectations at events and online
• Touch, photo, equipment, and privacy rules
• Confidentiality and POPIA compliance
• Alcohol and drug policy
• High-risk play requirements and approvals
• Drama-free policy and dispute handling
• Consequences for violations
Ignorance of the rules is not an excuse.
If you are unsure, ask before you act.
👉 Download the UBDSM Rules and Code of Conduct (PDF)
Aftercare Guide
Scenes don’t end when the flogger drops.
The UBDSM Aftercare Guide is a practical, compassionate resource for both Tops and Bottoms.
It explains
• What aftercare is and why it matters
• Physical and emotional responses after play
• How to support yourself immediately post-scene
• How to recognise and manage drop
• Why check-ins after the event matter
• How to treat yourself with kindness in the days that follow
Aftercare is part of the scene.
Not providing it, or disappearing after play, is not ethical kink.
👉 Download the UBDSM Aftercare Guide (PDF)
UBDSM Indemnity Form
Required for participation. No shortcuts.
The UBDSM Indemnity Form confirms that you
• Understand the risks involved in BDSM activities
• Accept personal responsibility for your choices and conduct
• Agree to comply with all UBDSM rules and procedures
• Acknowledge confidentiality obligations
• Participate voluntarily and at your own risk
If you need to submit or resubmit the indemnity
• Download the form
• Complete and sign it
• Email it to info@ubdsm.co.za
• Attach proof of ID or Driver’s Licence for age verification
Privacy assurance
UBDSM does not retain copies of IDs or Driver’s Licences.
They are checked for age and identity verification only and deleted immediately thereafter.
👉 Download the UBDSM Indemnity Form (PDF)
Final Reminder
These documents exist to protect
• You
• Your play partners
• The community as a whole
Ethical kink is not restrictive.
It’s what allows freedom without harm.
If you’ve read this page and use these tools
You are doing UBDSM the right way 🐇